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Yearly archives "2020"

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Anybody out there?

I know it’s been awhile and there’s no excuse why I haven’t written. I do apologize and hope that all of you are in good health and safe with loved ones.

Speaking of loved ones, how are you getting along with them now that you can’t get away from them? LOL I know, bad joke. It is the truth though. Not being able to go anywhere or do anything we ‘normally’ do when not faced with a pandemic like this is the hard part. Especially when some of us don’t recall when there was a war with rationing of sugar and other necessities. Even though I did not live through that time period, I recall hearing stories of how ‘rationing books’ of tickets were given to families to get things like milk, eggs, bread, sugar, etc. My parents were part of it and my grandparents told the stories of what happened. Air-raid drills and blackouts were commonplace for them. And this gives way to what I wanted to say about our current situation.

Today, we are faced with a pandemic (much like AIDS was when I was younger). Now we all lived through AIDS when we thought that we were going to die from just being in the same room with an infected person. We made it through that – we’ll make it through this. We all saw it coming and we knew we were due for something. Nature has a habit of ‘culling the herd’ every once in awhile and we were due. Influenza, AIDS, Polio, the Black Plague, etc. have all been ‘culling’ tools by Nature. This time Nature just decided to do it globally. Look at the wonderful things that have happened since we have started this.

Venice has gotten clear canals for the first time in years.

The dolphins and whales are coming back to certain areas that they decided to vacate because of pollution.

The birds are singing and flying above our heads more frequently and sounding happier than they have in years.

But I believe the most important thing that has happened is:

We have come to appreciate each other on a new level. We have seen how important each of us truly is in the major machine we call life. Just because we all go about our individual lives doesn’t mean that we don’t effect each other in major ways. Look at the truck drivers who deliver the goods we rely on so much. And the cashiers and clerks that sell us the goods that are delivered to the stores. Most importantly, the doctors, nurses and technicians that are the front line in every health related events on a daily basis. All of these people are risking their own lives and happiness to make sure the rest of us are as safe and supplied as they can humanly make it. These things were taken for granted just weeks ago. We thought of fast food and convenience stores as being there and always being stocked and open. Now we know different.

The best thing that I feel is coming out of all this is the realization of the family unit being ‘broken’ and malfunctioning. Families are now spending more time together and parents are being responsible for part of the teaching process of their children. So many times, in general, we relied on the public/private school systems to ‘teach’ everything to our children. How did I learn about life in general? A lot of it was through the other children at school. Of course, I went home and asked my parents if what I heard was true. But, my relationship with my parents was always one of being open and there for me whenever I needed them. Dad was Navy and we moved a lot in the 20 plus years he was dedicated to service, but never was he not open to talking to me through letters, postcards and telephone calls. My parents are a great example of parenting. They have raised three generations of children and one is Autistic.

Speaking of communications – today we have so much more than when I was growing up. My generation recalls the hours of being on the phone, laying on the floor with feet up on the wall and talking of everything. No video phones, no iPads, no Internet – just the voice on the phone and riding bikes or walking everywhere to meet up with friends and do things. Today, with the Internet, ieverything and video conferencing, seeing people has taken on a different meaning. Face-Time and Skype are two of the better things that have happened. Being able to talk and see not only local people, but people half a world away. Even the armed services (Army, Navy, Coast Guard, Marines, Air Force, etc.) have the capability to talk to their families no matter where they are. I recall the times that Dad wrote letters to us and we looked forward to getting them because they were the only contact he could have with us. Phone calls were rare, but we savored every second we could hear his voice. Now, with the video availability, it’s almost as if they are only down the street instead of thousands of miles away in a foreign land.

Mentioning foreign lands – I think we need to rethink whose to blame for this pandemic. Just because it started in China doesn’t mean that they are the problem or the people to blame. We are all so fast to assign blame. This is something that we need to stop. Think globally for a minute. This pandemic spread rapidly and that should prove to you how small a planet we are. If something like a virus can overtake the world in a matter of months – doesn’t that mean we should start thinking of the entire world as our neighborhood? With today’s technology, travel abilities and communications we should give ourselves a good spanking for not paying attention. It’s about time we started taking down cultural borders and started helping each other to overcome problems as a good neighbor would help someone they live next door to. Gene Roddenberry had a great idea with Star Trek, but we’re not there quite yet. I do believe we need to start looking at that possibility though.

I appreciate your time in reading this. I guess I needed to rant and tell someone my viewpoint.

As Douglas Adams said so succinctly:

Don’t Panic!

My love and hugs go out to everyone. Be safe and love each other.

Male Desperate Acts and ‘War Paint’

I saw an article on FetLife that was talking about the behavior of a sub after a breakup. It spoke of the abuse that a woman was taking and the fact that she broke it off completely, but he still emailed her and the emails were getting worse and worse. The guy was basically trying to gaslight her and he was told that they were no longer connected in any way, shape or form. In the end, she finally had to block him completely so he would leave her alone.

Below is my response to a response that I wrote on the article. I hope this gives some hope and help to those that have problems in this area. It’s more about the fact that it’s both sexes that do desperate acts to try to hold onto their desired person.

This is so true – in everything!

When I see men like this, (referring to desperate acts of harassment and stalking) I look at myself and think about what draws these men to me. They are desperate for something that I have – even if it’s just companionship. These ‘losers’ are part of the make up of the universe.

Have you ever thought about the acts of desperation that a good quantity of women/females go through to get what they are looking for? A good example is make-up – jokingly called ‘War Paint.’

Make-up is supposed to make us look better to the male of the species, but if you ask them, most of them hate make-up of any kind. They are afraid to kiss a made-up female for the fact that make-up gets on them and it tastes funny or is gooey and hard to clean out of laundry. My fiancé has told me that he hates War Paint for just those reasons and more. Lipstick and chapstick are two things that males seem to HATE because of taste and transferability. When I wear chapstick – it’s only because I want to solve dry lips – not to attract men. Others need the heavier coating of thick, glossy, sparkling lips to attract their prey. It actually turns men off. And we desperate women are out there pouring millions and billions of dollars into a business (cosmetics) that isn’t doing what we want it to. Save the money girls and buy yourself a nice outfit with the savings! LOL

Women may have more options, but unless we use those options intelligently – we lose and become more desperate. I have seen marriages break for less than the cost of a tube of lip gloss or a bottle of foundation. Especially in this community where we don’t exactly know if the make-up we find on the sink belongs to us or to our spouse. My second marriage fell apart because of gender dysphoria (on his part) and the fact he couldn’t leave the bill money alone (he was constantly stealing it to buy clothes, wigs, make-up, etc. for himself). It was a hard break-up but I learned that little things (like the make-up) do make drastic impacts on relationships – no matter what type of relationship it is.

So when it comes to the desperate acts that male bruised egos do what they do to get what they want, we need to look at ourselves too. What was the last desperate act you did to keep a relationship going? Have you seen that in the male of the species? They may out-number us and we have more options than they do, but we are just as susceptible to the same behaviors when OUR prey is being taken from us. Now don’t get me wrong. I do not condone harassment or abuse of any kind (outside of sessions). I feel that there are some real crazies out there that need to get their acts together before they end up hurting someone or themselves. I have run into my share and suffered rape, beatings, torture, poisoning and date rape. I have watched myself being stripped of who I am by a male and letting him do it – because he was my husband and it was ok according to the police because there were no laws on the books to protect females from this sort of treatment. We were (females) considered the husband’s property and what went on behind closed doors was not criminal and we must have ‘deserved’ it. Females are just now becoming equals – in the lifestyle and vanilla communities. Men don’t know how to act because both males and females are not communicating and letting their feelings be known.

In my experience (and my opinion), there is so much communication that has stopped and too much ‘easy’ abuse that both male and females are getting away with. Turn on the news and hear the long list of sexual crimes, physical abuse and mental torture that both sexes are inflicting on each other. It’s not pretty or pleasant.

Hello, Big, Beautiful World!

Well, here it is. My new blog for all the world to see. LOL

Today I am just getting this started, but I will probably be blogging on a daily basis – much of it just venting and putting info out here for everyone to have something to read. I don’t really vent that much, but I do go on tares on different topics – especially when I get mad and can’t do anything about the topic – so I reach out for ideas and help.

I am hoping to have this blog available to anyone who wants information on the BDSM Lifestyle, Disabilities and Information on them, Personal journal entries with miscellaneous topics and just plain Q & A for people who want to know more about anything. It will be a place where all are welcome and no question is too outlandish to ask (or be answered). There are social media where I could do some of this, but I own this blog and the domain it is on – so no censorship from anyone but me (and possibly Vic – my other half).

This blog is a first for me, so please try to be patient while I learn the media and how to use it.

Have a great weekend. Have fun.