Male Desperate Acts and ‘War Paint’
I saw an article on FetLife that was talking about the behavior of a sub after a breakup. It spoke of the abuse that a woman was taking and the fact that she broke it off completely, but he still emailed her and the emails were getting worse and worse. The guy was basically trying to gaslight her and he was told that they were no longer connected in any way, shape or form. In the end, she finally had to block him completely so he would leave her alone.
Below is my response to a response that I wrote on the article. I hope this gives some hope and help to those that have problems in this area. It’s more about the fact that it’s both sexes that do desperate acts to try to hold onto their desired person.
When I see men like this, (referring to desperate acts of harassment and stalking) I look at myself and think about what draws these men to me. They are desperate for something that I have – even if it’s just companionship. These ‘losers’ are part of the make up of the universe.
Have you ever thought about the acts of desperation that a good quantity of women/females go through to get what they are looking for? A good example is make-up – jokingly called ‘War Paint.’
Make-up is supposed to make us look better to the male of the species, but if you ask them, most of them hate make-up of any kind. They are afraid to kiss a made-up female for the fact that make-up gets on them and it tastes funny or is gooey and hard to clean out of laundry. My fiancé has told me that he hates War Paint for just those reasons and more. Lipstick and chapstick are two things that males seem to HATE because of taste and transferability. When I wear chapstick – it’s only because I want to solve dry lips – not to attract men. Others need the heavier coating of thick, glossy, sparkling lips to attract their prey. It actually turns men off. And we desperate women are out there pouring millions and billions of dollars into a business (cosmetics) that isn’t doing what we want it to. Save the money girls and buy yourself a nice outfit with the savings! LOL
Women may have more options, but unless we use those options intelligently – we lose and become more desperate. I have seen marriages break for less than the cost of a tube of lip gloss or a bottle of foundation. Especially in this community where we don’t exactly know if the make-up we find on the sink belongs to us or to our spouse. My second marriage fell apart because of gender dysphoria (on his part) and the fact he couldn’t leave the bill money alone (he was constantly stealing it to buy clothes, wigs, make-up, etc. for himself). It was a hard break-up but I learned that little things (like the make-up) do make drastic impacts on relationships – no matter what type of relationship it is.
So when it comes to the desperate acts that male bruised egos do what they do to get what they want, we need to look at ourselves too. What was the last desperate act you did to keep a relationship going? Have you seen that in the male of the species? They may out-number us and we have more options than they do, but we are just as susceptible to the same behaviors when OUR prey is being taken from us. Now don’t get me wrong. I do not condone harassment or abuse of any kind (outside of sessions). I feel that there are some real crazies out there that need to get their acts together before they end up hurting someone or themselves. I have run into my share and suffered rape, beatings, torture, poisoning and date rape. I have watched myself being stripped of who I am by a male and letting him do it – because he was my husband and it was ok according to the police because there were no laws on the books to protect females from this sort of treatment. We were (females) considered the husband’s property and what went on behind closed doors was not criminal and we must have ‘deserved’ it. Females are just now becoming equals – in the lifestyle and vanilla communities. Men don’t know how to act because both males and females are not communicating and letting their feelings be known.
In my experience (and my opinion), there is so much communication that has stopped and too much ‘easy’ abuse that both male and females are getting away with. Turn on the news and hear the long list of sexual crimes, physical abuse and mental torture that both sexes are inflicting on each other. It’s not pretty or pleasant.